Apart from being an aspiring Industrial Psychologist at UCL, Divij Patwardhan is just another dog lover who enjoys playing pool and is an enthusiast of the comic book realm. In his spare time, he shares his opinions through writing hoping to find someone out there who actually agrees with him.
The perception of romance in a relationship is fickle and has constantly moulded and adapted over the years to what it is today. Today’s generation has strategically incorporated the likes of certain social media tools into “wooing” their partners. Actions do speak louder than words, especially in the case of men. Men are not one with words and do they even need to be, when they have so many emojis at their disposal?
Let’s face it, if that special man in your life wrote you a ballad and recited it under your window in the pale moonlight, you would be taken aback. In the 21st century, the closest you get to a ballad is a rendering of the most recent love song. I still remember the myriad of 2015 weddings where “All of Me” by John Legend wooed and the crowd cooed, every time. So what happened to romance in the long run?
Studies found that men are more likely to fall in love on first sight. Women are thinkers, leaders, strategists at work and in their personal life; when it comes to things like holy matrimony, it is planned right down to the letter. Even dating has a preliminary round for eligible versus not eligible.
Men do not plan; they just experience and it is shocking how much reliability is given to a gut feeling. The reason I doubt this gut feeling is because more often than not, it doesn’t work out, falling in love immediately is judging a book by its cover, sometimes that book might just not be the story the man really wanted.
Through all the nervousness and the anxiety, he will manage to make the first move and if he is really lucky, he gets the yes he is looking for.
Then BAM! A whirlwind of romance ensues catching the lucky lady off guard and rattling the metaphorical cage, as all the stability of her life is thrown aside. After all, men are capricious creatures.
Then come the long dinner dates, late night walks on the beach, ballad singing, dancing, and spring is always in the air even during the heat waves of July. All visceral experiences paint a perfectly harmonious life together. This initial fiery, intense, unpredictable chemistry settles and the relationship (pun intended) comes to a gentle sway in the calm waters.
This is where the problem arises; the problem of the diminishing romance. The flowers stop being delivered to your place of work and you feel slightly let down. Has the romance completely faded away in this gentle swaying? Well, if you look closely, it still exists; in a man’s head, it is the small things that matter. When two people become comfortable with each other, the romance between them changes.
There is no need to go all out and extravagant dinners turn into cooking a homemade meal together. Truth be told, men believe this gentle swaying is the end game when it really isn’t. After all everyone needs a little excitement in life, so when romance seems to have faded I believe men need to have their cage rattled, as they need to be reminded that the wooing never ends.
Who wants a gentle swaying ship in this day and age? Sounds rather tedious, don’t you think?